On another note, you know don't you love relatives. Especially the grandparents. You know grandparents they mean well but mine are just so nosy its crazy. I don't ever really enjoy family gatherings because I know what their thinking. I'm not the favorite grandchild, I think I used to be but now its my brother. At least that's what I observe. Anyway, because he does the things that they expect I think that's why they like him. I chose to not be like everyone else, but to stay true to myself. I feel tolerated but not particularily liked you know. When my mom's mom calls I always make sure my mom doesn't share too much because my Grandma always has to put her two cents in. She gets over concerned for us thinking we can't make it or something like that. Anyway, my poor mom always gets bullied into sharing more. My grandma's health problems are some of because she worries herself too much into oblivion because she's overconcerned about us. I hate to say I don't enjoy family times but I really don't like the stares of disapproval from relatives and questions about job things. I'm just saying that sometimes its better that if you don't have anything nice to say don't say it at all. That's the classic saying that we've heard in elementary school.
You know really my grandparents don't understand all that has happened. I can't explain why God has chosen for me to not have a job, I've been really trying like so hard and nothing. I've had nothing for like almost 5 months. Its so frustrating but I just have to tell myself that my circumstances are in his hands. I'm sure this might have to also do with the economy we live in. If my mom was able to get a job shouldn't I be able to. The economy isn't that bad, at least not yet. My grandparents haven't put their faith in the Lord nor my mom's mom so all they see is the physical realm and have advice for what they see and nothing more than that. They think I'm not trying hard enough, or I haven't looked enough places or this or that or whatever. Its just not worth explaining to them I just leave it alone.
I don't want to go to any family related events because of this factor at least for now. Thank God there aren't any scheduled for the moment so no worries.
Anyway, for today I think I'm done with my rants and raves. I feel good that I can share these thoughts without making someone mad. I had an episode where I was for a moment foolish and put my thoughts on myspace not knowing that a certain person who usually doesn't go on my myspace, that day read what was on my blog. No more of that, this is a much better place. Horray for that!
